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Dissolving a Digital Relationship: A Critical Examination of Digital Severance Behaviours in Close Relationships

Michael Yin, Angela Chiang, Robert Xiao

TL;DR

This paper investigates digital severance as a platform-mediated boundary in close online relationships. Using semi-structured, narrative interviews with 30 participants and reflexive thematic analysis, it reveals how severance actions emerge from competing pressures of control, power, and emotional ambiguity, affecting both initiators and recipients. The study highlights three tensions—conflict avoidance, personal desire versus relationship expectations, and holding on versus letting go—and links severance to broader concepts of ostracism and ambiguous loss. It also proposes design directions for social platforms to better represent nuanced relational boundaries, support closure, and explore possible reconciliation without erasing emotional complexity, thereby informing healthier digital relationship management.

Abstract

Fulfilling social connections are crucial for human well-being and belonging, but not all relationships last forever. As interactions increasingly move online, the act of digitally severing a relationship - e.g. through blocking or unfriending - has become progressively more common as well. This study considers actions of "digital severance" through interviews with 30 participants with experience as the initiator and/or recipient of such situations. Through a critical interpretative lens, we explore how people perceive and interpret their severance experience and how the online setting of social media shapes these dynamics. We develop themes that position digital severance as being intertwined with power and control, and we highlight (im)balances between an individual's desires that can lead to feelings of disempowerment and ambiguous loss for both parties. We discuss the implications of our research, outlining three key tensions and four open questions regarding digital relationships, meaning-making, and design outcomes for future exploration.

Dissolving a Digital Relationship: A Critical Examination of Digital Severance Behaviours in Close Relationships

TL;DR

This paper investigates digital severance as a platform-mediated boundary in close online relationships. Using semi-structured, narrative interviews with 30 participants and reflexive thematic analysis, it reveals how severance actions emerge from competing pressures of control, power, and emotional ambiguity, affecting both initiators and recipients. The study highlights three tensions—conflict avoidance, personal desire versus relationship expectations, and holding on versus letting go—and links severance to broader concepts of ostracism and ambiguous loss. It also proposes design directions for social platforms to better represent nuanced relational boundaries, support closure, and explore possible reconciliation without erasing emotional complexity, thereby informing healthier digital relationship management.

Abstract

Fulfilling social connections are crucial for human well-being and belonging, but not all relationships last forever. As interactions increasingly move online, the act of digitally severing a relationship - e.g. through blocking or unfriending - has become progressively more common as well. This study considers actions of "digital severance" through interviews with 30 participants with experience as the initiator and/or recipient of such situations. Through a critical interpretative lens, we explore how people perceive and interpret their severance experience and how the online setting of social media shapes these dynamics. We develop themes that position digital severance as being intertwined with power and control, and we highlight (im)balances between an individual's desires that can lead to feelings of disempowerment and ambiguous loss for both parties. We discuss the implications of our research, outlining three key tensions and four open questions regarding digital relationships, meaning-making, and design outcomes for future exploration.
Paper Structure (30 sections, 1 figure, 2 tables)

This paper contains 30 sections, 1 figure, 2 tables.

Table of Contents

  1. Introduction
  2. Background and Related Works
  3. Relationships and Social Media Interactions
  4. Ostracism and Exclusion
  5. Digital Severance and Digital Disposal
  6. Methods
  7. Participant Recruitment
  8. Study Protocol
  9. Methodological Limitations
  10. Researcher Positionalities and Data Analysis
  11. Examining Platform Design
  12. Findings
  13. Before Severance
  14. Relational Mismatches Drive Simmering Discomfort
  15. Accumulated Tensions Drive Potential Action
  16. ...and 15 more sections

Figures (1)

  • Figure 1: Summary of findings before, during, and after severance action, following the narrative shape mentioned in Section \ref{['sec:positionalities']}.