We argue that a simple qubit-regularized lattice gauge theory on a plaquette chain serves as a pseudo-one-dimensional toy model for Yang-Mills theory in three spatial dimensions. We map the chain Hamiltonian to the Transverse Field Ising Model in a uniform magnetic field and demonstrate that it can be tuned to a continuum limit in which the short-distance physics is governed by the asymptotically free Ising conformal field theory describing free Majorana fermions, while the long-distance regime contains massive excitations of the quantum field theory that can be interpreted as one-dimensional analogues of glueballs. Furthermore, we find where is the string tension between two static quarks and is the mass of the lightest glueball.